The Jazz Apple Gives a Very Flat Performance
Ya like jazz? Ehhh.
Comparison is the thief of joy. And flavor, apparently. After eating a couple of good apples, I was pretty disappointed with the flashy-named Jazz Apple. I found myself thinking it would make the perfect prop.
First, it's extremely crunchy. This is an apple that people around you will hear pretty loudly when you're chewing. I almost felt like I was chewing shards of apple–each bite chipping into pieces like a flint stone.
But the thing that really caught my attention was the juiciness. The Jazz Apple was literally dripping on my hand as I ate it. I could visibly see juice pooling up on the flesh of the apple. Is this the most hydrating apple out there? More testing required.
An Apple Fit For the Screen
That's why I said the Jazz Apple would make a perfect prop. The art department put all its effort toward the two things you want to see and hear on camera: glistening juice and a loud crunch. That's kinda all there is to it.
The flavor of the Jazz Apple is as if you turned down the saturation on what you imagine as "apple" flavor. Usually, when I'm tasting an apple, my mind is going over the sweetness and tartness levels. The Jazz Apple wasn't registering strongly on either scale. It's just not a strong flavor.
On top of that, the skin is a bit on the thicker side. In fact, I think most of the flavor I was getting was coming from the skin, which is definitely not a good thing. The skin tastes kinda bitter and dirty.
The Peanut Butter Test
As always, I'm testing how well apples pair with peanut butter as I'm rating them.
If you haven't guessed already, the Jazz Apple wasn't a great companion for peanut butter. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the experience, but in the same way that I enjoy celery with hummus–it's not about the celery. Jazz Apples are a good delivery mechanism for peanut butter, but they're not contributing to the project.
The Final Bite
I hate to talk ill of any apple, but I wasn't feeling this one. The Jazz Apple is extremely crunchy, juicy, and boring. I'm really not sure what jazz has to do with it. "Boring" is the last word I would use to describe most jazz music. Now pretend I say something like, "except for [Popular Mainstream Artist], right?" Haha. Gottem.
Anyway, if you happen upon a Jazz Apple at your local market, I'd pass.
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